Monday, December 28, 2009

Bangalore Safe from the People of Pandora

Attempt by the people of Pandora (PoP) to invade the planet Earth has been successfully foiled.An inquiry was ordered when an alien was found in an unconscious state in an open manhole in Bangalore and surprisingly the findings of the inquiry have come out within a week.

It was found that people of Pandora planned to attack Bangalore after coming to know about the deep hatred seeping
in Bangaloreans for PoP after each and every houseful show of Avataar.They also wanted to kidnap the mushrooming population of techies and use them as cheap labours in Pandora. Their plan was to pierce the heart of every person wearing 3D glasses. However PoP were taken by surprise by the preparedness of Bangalore to any such eventuality. The PoP and the giant birds used by them for travelling choked due to heavy pollution as soon as they entered the Bangalore atmosphere. In a bid to seek shelter they took the shade of the tree which was promptly chopped down by the Metro Development Authority. A map found with them indicated that they wanted to attack Forum Mall but traffic jams and multiple one ways delayed and confused them.

This is a great victory for the authorities of Bangalore who till now have never been able to avert a terror attack. It is a team work of BBMP who claim that the manhole in which alien was found was purposely left open to trap such creatures, Bangalore traffic police who claim that these numerous one ways and traffic jams are to perplex and irritate intruders and not to cause inconvenience and Environmnet Ministry who claim that prevention of pollution and cutting of trees is not a bane but a boon for the city.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Animals chase away PWLA(People Who Love Animals) officials !!!


In a shocking incident, PWLA officials who were carrying out a protest march in front of Jantar Mantar for animal rights were chased away by stray dogs and other animals.The animal committee has raised a concern that PWLA officials are jackals under the garb of a goat and are doing more harm than good.

The whistle was raised when a chicken,who was crossing the road in Chandini Chowk, saw the treasurer of PWLA enjoying butter chicken along with tandoori roti. The chicken was aghast when the treasurer threw the last uneaten piece of chicken to the stray dog who showing solidarity with the dead chicken did not eat it. Since then reports of animal torture by PWLA are pouring in. In a breaking news, Tiger, the puppy of the secretary of PWLA has secretly smsed that his master is enjoying beef sizzler in a popular joint.

Suspicion was smelled about a month back when 2 chickens, 1 cow and a pig, who were approached by PWLA officials for joining them in the protest for civil rights for animals, were reported missing. PWLA officials were contacted right after the protest where they feigned ignorance and zoomed away for a secret dinner party after the successful protest. A comment by the daughter of one of the official " I love animals, they are very tasty" has added fuel to fire.

The situation is grim now and animals need a real messiah to help them and fight for there rights.

Disclaimer - This is not to malign the efforts of any group or individual. This piece of write up came from a thought, Shouldn't people who protest for animals be vegetarians first ?

Monday, December 7, 2009

Cats sue IIMs


In a breaking news making rounds on TV channels, the Cat fraternity has decided to sue IIMs on the charges of defamation.

The Cats were quite proud when the IIMs introduces the online version but they were shocked when the the whole version crumpled down like a castle of cards and the cats were subjected to insult and mockery. All online sites lambasted them and grieved students started throwing stones at them.

To protect their respect and integrity, Cats also tried damage control measures. They volunteered to replace the clueless proctors and help the students. But the apathy of IIMs kicked their endeavor out. It is reported that few cats were hospitalized due to dehydration as they were not allowed to take water bottles inside the test room.Also when the cat committee approached the IIMs, they feigned ignorance by blaming a testing centre called Prometric...

Reports are also making rounds that the feline creatures have also kept the option of out of court settlement. They want the IIMs to rename the test as RAT ( Repeat Again Test) and to be made a party of the deal with Prometric

Meanwhile, the cities which used to be filled with hoardings mentioning NIIT have found that those hoardings have mysteriously disappeared.


Disclaimer : The information in this write up is fictitious (if somebody has still not guessed) with no intention to malign the heros (IIMs, prometric, NIIT or cats). This is to read, enjoy and forget.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

An Irish Airman foresees his Death


I studied this poem by W.B. Yeats in Class 8th and since then I have never been able to forget it. Somewhere this poem has touched me. Want to share it with everybody.

An Irish Airman foresees his Death

I know that I shall meet my fate
Somewhere among the clouds above:
Those that I fight I do not hate,
Those that I guard I do not love:

My country is Kiltartan Cross,
My countrymen Kiltartan's poor,
No likely end could bring them loss
Or leave them happier than before.

Nor law, nor duty bade me fight,
Nor public men, nor cheering crowds,
A lonely impulse of delight
Drove to this tumult in the clouds;

I balanced all, brought all to mind,
The years to come seemed waste of breath,
A waste of breath the years behind
In balance with this life, this death.